Well I am now at my house in Dallas with my family. I am not sure where I am going right now or what God has for me, so for now I am setting up shop at home waiting on God to direct me to where He wants me. There are many things up in the air right now like even if I should have come back home but I know God will eventually get me to where He wants me to go despite my insensitive ear to His voice. So I pray that He will tell me quickly and distinctively and that I may have the patience and endure this time. It is nice to be home once again with my family and old friends yet I know that there is much more to God's calling than being comfortable in my little world. I want to be available to Him for whatever He has for me. Thank ya'll so much for your prayers.

It's the Holiday Season

I love the holidays. There is just something that gets me all giddy and warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe it's a psychological thing, but I really do feel better at times. I just wanted to let you know that I am doing alright and that I continue to press on. The Lord gave me this verse awhile back and it describes exactly how I feel and what I must do.

"Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful creator while doing good." 1 Peter 4:19

We as Christians suffer and sometimes it is because of our foolishness, but sometimes it is according to God's will. It is for teaching and breaking and molding and for many other reasons that only God knows, yet He ordains it for our benefit to become more like Christ. So while we endure this we must entrust to God our soul which I believe is equivalent to keeping the faith and believing in the promises that God has made to you. Such as that all things will work for good for those who love Him, God will not let us be tempted beyond what we can bear, God will never leave us nor forsake us. And the last part is that we must do good. We may not feel the passion or have the discipline but we are commanded to do good. We may not know what God wants for us next, we may not know His plans, we may feel lost in a desert, but that does not exempt us from doing the good that God has taught us so far.

I remember a message that Steve Smith gave one night about King Saul. This man was anointed the first king of Israel and what did he do after that? He went back to working the fields. He didn't know what was next for Him, he wasn't told to do something so he went back to doing what he knew how. I would not recommend this in all circumstances because it can also hinder us from moving forward and going deep, but in this instance it supports this verse very well. When we are at lost and God is silent we must do the good that He has taught us and shown us. He has called us to good at the very worst times. So that is what we must do, not in our strength but in Christ and through the strength He gives us.

Frustration Station

I think my biggest frustration comes from knowing that life, and my life in particular, is so much more than what I see or what I think. Yet I live my life to please myself. I live to satisfy my momentarily desire. My selfishness wins yet it creates a conflict in my soul for that is my flesh. I want to follow after God holding nothing back, giving everything. So when I live to please my flesh and not my soul it creates a deep longing for greater things and an unsatisfaction with my life. That's ironic, I live to please myself yet I am left unsatisfied. For the water that leaves you satisfied comes only from God. Nothing else can achieve that type of satisfaction. now the truly ironic part is that when one lives a satisfying life in God it often leaves us with momentary unsatisfaction. So the battle rages on. Do we satisfy our moments or our lives? I want to live a satisfying life yet all that I do satisfies my moment. Have mercy on me God. Give me the strength to be satisfied by you alone. Teach me to live in the moment but not for the moment.