Back on Track

Well, I am in Houston now. I ended up coming on Wednesday night so I could help some after my Dad's surgery. He was doing fine when I left and I assume that he is still fine. But now I am back and Matt Chance is in for the weekend because he has a taekwando tournament in Katy, so he spent the night with us. It is good to catch up with him and his life.
The Lord has been showing me a few things and me leaving for a couple of weeks allowed me to put a voice to what He has been teaching me. Going back forced me to understand and convey the things that I am going through and what God has been teaching me. Which is good to actually understand what God is doing with one instead of just saying that God is working. Which is ultimately enough...but it is nice to explain it to friends and family. The Lord has been showing my self to me and how sinful and evil it is. Apart from Him, I am disgusting and vile, any good that comes out of me comes from Him. Be that the love of God or acts of mercy or a passion for Him or even discipline to go after Him. I always felt that discipline came from myself. Discipline to be in the bible or to pray or to go out and witness, but God is showing me even that discipline comes from Him. Many times I would see brothers and sisters not having the discipline to do these things because they felt a lack of passion and I would disapprove. But the Lord is showing me even that is from Him and that I am no better than them and people are no better than me. We are all worthless. Which is another trap I fell into. I focused on how pitiful and pathetic I am. Yet God does not allow these struggles so that we can continue to focus on ourselves but on Christ. We must look at the cross. How cliche, yet how true. When we are doing well and Christ is filling us we must look at the cross lest we become proud and arrogant. And when we are struggling and dry we must look to the cross to lift us out and allow the mercy and grace to be applied. The whole time God is trying to make it about Him and the whole time we are trying to make it about ourselves. I have awhile before I truly live like this, ha, probably like a lifetime, but that is what He is pointing me to. When I am up...it is about Him...when I am down...it is about Him...it is for His glory. How easy it is to have this knowledge in our heads but when Christ reveals it to our hearts, oh how glorious!

-Brennen